My Journey to find Empathy.

How Empathy Changed My Life.

As a child, a young adult and even into my 40s, I’m ashamed to admit that I wasn’t aware of empathy or even what it meant. I thought maybe it was similar to sympathy but not something I needed to bother my scatty brain about.

I thought I was a nice person, kind, considerate and generous, but the truth is I just wasn’t and I didn’t even know it.

Having Babyboomer parents meant that for most of my childhood I had to justify my existence and not be a burden. We were mocked for just about everything, which had the effect of me detaching from my feelings to survive.

Not being able to access emotions creates a dead feeling inside, so it stands to reason that feeling empathy was a million miles away from my radar.

I displayed passive, aggressive behaviour, meanness and jealousy. I struggled to make and keep friends and cemented my loner status.

I’ve had two husbands and never fully committed to either of them, for which I’m sorry.

Fast forward about 50 years, and I finally got empathy, (long story) and it completely changed my life. I now know that sympathy is more of a feeling of pity for another without sharing their feelings and empathy is a non-judgmental connection to another person's circumstances and feelings, a much deeper connection.

Empathy fosters solid foundations within families, friends, coworkers and larger communities. It helps you to become authentic, love yourself, and understand others.

I also know that I am a nice person who is kind, considerate, and generous. It takes a long time to unravel the traumas of our childhood, and if you can and learn from those experiences well, you're doing good.